 How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Thursday, 17. December 2009 at 10:48 |
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im so confused that i cant help feling that ma man is having another relationship and at the same time i feel like im jumping into conclusion coz of jerlousy. the thing is that wen i call him sumtyms as if he does not want to talk and he speaks so dull, sometyms he speaks freely jst like a man should speak to his lady, at tyms wen i cal him it jst ring up to voicemail for more than 3 tyms and then he will only sms in the morning that he was sleping. please i need your help guys i've never been so desprate, i love my boyfriend and this is realy eating me up and wen want to give up he turns to give me lots of attention and assures me that he loves me.
pls help me what should i do? do u think sum1 can slep so deep without drinking and could not hear the 4n ringing for 4-5 times? even sms he sumtimes take 2 long 2 reply. i sumhow fel tired of this acts but im not sure if wat i suspect is right. its now den ever that i need your help guys, ma love line is shaking......
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 Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Tobiza
Number Posts: 42
Last Post: 23.03.2011, 13:40
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| Thursday, 17. December 2009 at 11:52 |
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Hey Liz
Sounds like a seriouse case of suspicion. How long have you been feeling this way? First of all lets assume your boyfriend is innocent and what your suspecting is just a figment of your imagination. Unless of course there is a change in intamacy issues (bedroom) that you've noticed. Then you've got something to worry about. If you two are close enough wich should be the case, seeing he is your boyfriend then i suggest you tell him how you feel and that you don't wanna have that feeling as his women. If he comes up with that lame excuse of "Baby your imagining things" then so be it, cos you've told him how you feel and might that same feeling persist, then I think yall folks need a break coz you got insecuritiy problems.
Halla
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Thursday, 17. December 2009 at 12:53 |
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thsanx for that advice Tobiza, as for your question of how long i hv been feeling like this? it has been 4months nw its jst that he always assures me that he love me and he is always showing me that he loves me when we are 2getha and he also behave the same as a loving abd caring man that i knw infront of me but wen we part he behave very srange that i cant even understand it myself.
i dont know what to think anymo, its not that im doubting his love but i cant tell weather his excuses are true or false.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Vmboy sha Chaze
Number Posts: 649
Last Post: 26.01.2012, 12:22
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| Friday, 18. December 2009 at 08:49 |
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My dear Eliz
What you are feeling now is normal and unfortunately jealousy and insecurity are one of the few things that will always be present whenever love exists. It is as clear as a glass window to tell that you are in what they call LOVE. Which is not bad at all, but the problem is you are not sure whther u are being loved the same way you are giving love.
Its true you have to give love and expect to be given the same amount of love you are giving,, but how can you tell whether you are being loved back? here are few examples to tell whether you are being loved back:
1. Is he calling you as much as u do?
2. Does he open to you about his life (family, studies, work etc)
3. Out of all your meetings, who always initiates them?
4. How is his sexual desire?
5. Does he allow you to get close to his personal things e.g photo album, cellphones etc.
So, sister, get a pencil and a paper and trying tick yes and no's to those ones and after, some idea will ring in your mind.
I am not a magician but sista, just try those ones... and u will smile coz u will understand one thing that you never imagined u could and u will be amazed by how wide your eyes have become...
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Steam
Number Posts: 125
Last Post: 28.11.2011, 08:51
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| Friday, 18. December 2009 at 10:09 |
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Hey Liz!
You are feeling like how any normal girl would..... the question remains, can it be or can it not be? Anyhow like Vmboy sha Chaze said, unfortunately jelaousy and insecurity were meant to be in a relationship cycle somehow and thats very unfortunate, im sorry but im afraid you have to come to terms with me here. Out of it all, one thing i didnt quite get is HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER WITH YOUR MAN? Meaning, dont get me wrong its not always like that but when you go out/date/commit to each other for years, lets say six years, ,,,,,, a relation goes to another phase, it grows up until it then matures.In a growing phase, my analysis would be that....Men generally don’t commit soon to a woman. They do so only when they are sure about their woman being perfect for them. Men don’t put up imaginary questions like a possibility of meeting someone equally interesting as her or doubt her being perfect for him. Women, are exactly the opposite. They ponder over too many issues to come to a decision if you are the guy who will keep her happy all along. This decision takes her a long time sometimes.like it took you 4 months.....al that time feeling insecure but you kept it there and just to yourself.
Now lets get to the root of the problem, you are calling your man and he speaks so dull like you put it but sometimes freely, you try calling him sevral time and he doesnt pick up/ pretend not to hear or maybe just doenst hear as he put it on vibration as the only way to justify it.......... HMMMMMMMMMMM! lets see, on a first case....if your man is cheating on you....then these can be the signs plus all the other ones. Which however you can test, does he remember to call you...it doesnt have to be often by a man though, and like Vmboy sha Chaze said, does he open up to you..but remember if he arleady opened up already, a man sees no need to keep doing it, unless you have to remind him again. Most importantly, SEXUAL DESIRE... If your man kindo lost some appetite there...do something...it just cannot be... it has to be that every time he makes love to you, he feels you are brand new and he just wont get tired.... a man needs to think that he gets it all from his girl. anyhow, dont give him too much.. Once-a-week or twice-a-month is just fine.....for a normal man now! TOO MANY EXCUSES, a man doesnt have to give their first lady too many excuses, unless its really something that comes before you and you know it...... for instance going to fix his car or to make money (business wise)!
BUT, your man may also not be cheating....why do i say that? When your relationship is mature, as a man...you already know your woman is there.....nomatter what, you got used to the idea and you can relax just knowing that your woman is there for you even if i dont call her (Thats how men think)......Most men and again im saying "Most men" dont like calling or being called frequently by their woman. Once in a day is enough for him (Thats for an ordinary, not so hapening day), only unless addicted to talking in the fone. Men like their space, they dont like thinking that everytime they are being bothered by their women...... NOOO! They dont like to think they are cornered and they cant escape, they pull away! Dont try to understand it, its one quality found in a man. Dont fill him with too much love whereby he cant breath, unless really necessary and you see him enjoying it.... and thats when you see a blink in his eyes. But like i was stressing it, SPACE... a man needs space sometimes (sleeping freely without being textd every 5 seconds/being called three times in one evening), Going to drink beer with his friends and for once in a while not thinking about his woman, when the thought comes back....he misses his woman and craving for her.... just know when to GET HOLD of him again and when appropriate coz its not always that he needs you around... afterall, he is your man...
My advice to you! Talk to your man about new developments, what you like and dont like that is happening in your lives right no...... you can text him, its much easier...... Remember that he only needs to be reminded and not forced upon it as it brings more stress to him. A remainder is more than enough for him to understand!
Anatha advice, note a few things down as mentioned earlier and jaa, work from there.Sometimes he may be cheating and sometimes not... I cant really say he is not ryt now....but hey girl, dont you just sit there.... work on your relationship before it ends up on a down-fall. What are waiting for?
Its your Boy KelvinK
Ciao
[Post edited by: Steam on 18/12/09 10:23 AM]
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Monday, 21. December 2009 at 12:37 |
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thanx for the advise Vmboy sha Chaze, i realy apreciate it. as of the question you asked me to evaluate ma relationship, he does call me everyday if he does not cal then he will text me. he is open with his studies, his life, he tells me of his past, he tells me what he likes and dont like, he is open about his work, on the meetings we both have choices but other wise he alwys initiates our meeting according to him he misses me more than i do. for his love i cant realy say im doubting his love coz wat he shows is enough for me to knw that he loves me but it just seems as if he has another relationship behind ma back.
on sex desire i realy cant complain, he is the man i know. i will also take your advise into consideration Vmboy dea, you cant imagine what is it like to have you guys in ma network rolling.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Vmboy sha Chaze
Number Posts: 649
Last Post: 26.01.2012, 12:22
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| Tuesday, 22. December 2009 at 08:43 |
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You dont have to thank me for giving you my opinion on your problem, after all thats what web.com was made for.
I really feel you dear, and its luck that we have such a site with good advisors on it. This is my third year on the site and i feel proud to announce to you that i have benefitted a lot in terms of social advises from web members.
I am telling you eliz that the members of this site are genius when it comes to relationshp advises, to be honest some of them are even way better than sis dolly of drum magazine and auntie nangie of the namibian sun newspaper.
Enjoy reading our advices hewa.
I remain Vmboy sha Chaze, the only one who can see what is coming with one eye, a.k.a mr reserved but intelligent.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
asan
Number Posts: 24
Last Post: 22.09.2011, 18:13
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| Tuesday, 22. December 2009 at 10:11 |
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thanks
[Post edited by: asan on 03/3/10 8:20 AM]
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Vmboy sha Chaze
Number Posts: 649
Last Post: 26.01.2012, 12:22
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| Tuesday, 22. December 2009 at 10:54 |
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Ndate, lemme try giving my piece of perception, hope eliz wont be mad that you hijacked her post.
Ndate, all i wanna say is that, your relationship started just very good and i mean it had an excellent start. But unforturnately that matters less and im telling you brother that you have to swallow the truth coz your relationship is dieying.
It is coming to an end and it is a countdown and thats what happens when love is no more. I feel sorry coz u seem to the one who worked so hard for the relationshp to come that far, but ladies are just ladies and they decide without looking way behind and neither do they look far forward. U can take a girl out of the mud now, all she is gonna say is thank you and that is it.
What matters to girls is the present.
But the good thing is that the almighty Gee Ouu Dee (God) knows that u tried to invest in your relationshp and dont worry coz god blessed you with your hard work and you will soon get over this.
Dont bother yourself by finding answers to questions like:
Is the girl seeing someone else?
Is she not interested in you coz your car got burnt?
Did she use you as a stepping stone to meet the man of her dreams?
Does she think u upgraded her enough and she got what she wanted?
Again i say dont bother yourself by finding answers to such questions.
Just open your eyes so that atleast you can see her when she will go out of your lyf forever coz she will.
Sorry to discourage you from her, but the thing is that she has proven that she is capable of suddenly jumping out of the relationshp. Do u still remember that u got her in the relationshp? Yah, the same is gona happen to you ndate.
I hope you are not regretting that she aborted your baby, coz that was 15% proof that she doesnt wanna build the future with you.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Mii
Number Posts: 10
Last Post: 22.12.2009, 11:20
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| Tuesday, 22. December 2009 at 11:20 |
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asan
when i go through ur post i discovered that this gal doesn't have interest in u anymoo, she wants to go on with her life but she is maybe afraid of walk out because of the the favour (medical Aid e.t.c) u dd 4 her . it's better when you go home have a discusssion with your lady tell her wat u re uncomfortable with, then u guys came to the final decision. from the discussion u will jus see for yourself that this lady is interest in u or not just the way she is answering u.
wish u good lucky!
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 10:21 |
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aaaiye vakwetu.... Vmboy oyu are realy gud at ur words.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 11:42 |
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hi asan, your story is realy a sad one it bring a sum of sadness and sorrow in my heart. im speechless coz i never expected such behaviours from a lady, im sory to say this as u might feel offended. from my point of view the gal was not inlove all the time you were spending togather and this is the only time when she is now falling inlove with you. why im saying that is because when you meet sum one and you have a crash on the person, thats not love or maybe you like that person's style thats not love. a person fall in love step by step there is nothing like meeting a person and fall inlove already, this are just statements that we use to make ourselves fell gud about what we feel. i think by now u have known your lady enough and u are able to tell if she is laying, joking, saducing and even happy. so it all depends from which angle your galfrnd said she think she loves you and also if you did not hurt her in the means of betraying her after these gud times you shared.
other wise all i can tell you is a lady is a person who is soft hearted and for a lady all that matters is to make her man happy and to impress him by doing what her man likes. a lady does not even take year to fall in love though it cums step by step a lady falls very fast comparing to a man. if you luk at your story, the pregnancy, the atempt abortion, the miscarrage, the late night chating and the careless behaviors, im sory to this but this does not seems to me like a lady inlove. i canot even say that she is depresed coz of the miscarrige coz she did not wated the baby before. i think mybe its also your behavious when you met her you did not allow her to clean to cook and she got used to such treatment thats why it is very important to show ur lady what you expect from her in the very 1st begining to prevent sum1 from getting used to a wrong person.
i think you should jst tel your galfrnd what you expect from her and how you realy need her contribution in your relationship and how important her contributions are. tell her how you feel about her nightchatting and her ignorant behavious and how it will affect the future of your relationship. your relationship is almost making a year now you guys are supposed to know each others manners by now, jst talk to her an asses her progress also let her open up to you and tell you how she realy feel about you then you should be see from her statement is where you answer will be. othrwise there is nothing worse than being inlove alone.
all the best dea and hop it will work out for you guys in the same vain i wish u a happy xmass and a prosperous new year....!
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Vmboy sha Chaze
Number Posts: 649
Last Post: 26.01.2012, 12:22
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 11:49 |
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Thanks liz for showing love and support to my posts on this site. It really means a lot for me to learn that ppl appreciate my contribution to this site. I think my answers to your questions were logically set out to you due to the fact that u also accurately presented your problem.
Therefore, u should thank yourself my dearest eliz before you thank vmboy sha chaze.
Thanks for showing gratitude to Vmboy sha Chaze's thinking a.k.a Mr reseverd but intelligent...
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
Vmboy sha Chaze
Number Posts: 649
Last Post: 26.01.2012, 12:22
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 12:06 |
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Eliz, to be a honest i have to admit that i learnt one thing or two from your advice to asan. In fact i learnt three things.
At least you have literated me a bit on the operation of ladies. Teach her what you want from her in the beginning. This is very cool you know.
I think what Vmboy sha chaaze will do next time he gets a new girlfrnd, he will have to remind her that vmboy eats three times a day, his room is cleaned every morning, sex is done evry monday, wednsday and friday. Maybe this can solve sexual starvation. How about that liz?
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 12:34 |
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well what can i say Vmboy sha Chaze, thats what the website is for. i post my problem you reply with your solution and viseversal. your contribitions to my posts also made a rainbow difference and that i realy appreciate it hewa.
let me be the 1st one to wish u a merry Xmass and a prosperous 2010...! the same goes to all my web.com.na fellows and those who replyed to my posts, have a blessed festive season.
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
eliz
Number Posts: 38
Last Post: 12.11.2010, 12:10
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| Wednesday, 23. December 2009 at 12:46 |
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yes Vmboy Sha Chaaze, if you do that then consider yourself done with instructing. coz it will also help the lady big time where to start and whats next, sumtimes you might end up mis understanding her but the fact will remain that she actually dont know where to start coz she dont know what you like and dont like then some ladies will end up living in fear.
an that makes a relationship sour or better yet.....BITTER!
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| Re: How will i know that he is telling the truht pls help me...??? |
asan
Number Posts: 24
Last Post: 22.09.2011, 18:13
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| Wednesday, 03. March 2010 at 08:16 |
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thanks alot eliz, some progress, email me on lek@web.com.na
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