Friday, 10.02.2012 - Welcome to web.com.na!
Online: 4 Members, 60 Guests
You are not logged in!
Home | Forums
 

Forum Your last visit was: Friday, 10.02.2012, 11:43


[ Search Forum ]

Forum Home : Namibia : Jokes & Fun Displaying posts 1 - 25 of 59 total posts: 1 - 2 - 3 - >>>

Post Views: 10330 Previous Post Next Post threaded

Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Shindenge

Number Posts: 261
Last Post: 08.11.2011, 14:12

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 11:33
Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?


Rachel okakadhona ka kala megumbo lyawo naina (single mother) oyo ayeke, momukunda Okapya kaMbidi ke li ngaa mUukwambi moka. Aantu mbaka oyomongundu yAakwanyama mboka ya taukile koAngola ethimbo lyiita yaKaputu, no ye ya ihe ya tote omukunda gwawo mUukwambi.

Rachel shi a koko, yina okwe mu tungile okangulu ke, oshoka ota ningi a tukithe po uudhila we. Rachel onkatu ndjono okwa kala e yi panda oshoka naye wo okwa kala a hala emanguluko....

Oshoka okuikalela okwa nyennga enongo, Rachel okwa tokola opo a itaale omumati ngu a kala temu hala. Sho e mu itaale, okwa kala ihe he mu yakele mokangulu ke, unene tuu ngele a dhimbulula kutya ina esiku ndjoka okwa dhiginina mo montaku.

Uumbudhi ihau yothwa shi tya omukwanyama, ina ya Rachel okwa dhimbulula po sha, nokwa tokola opo a popye na Rachel.

”Hai ti Lake, hano omuvelo woye hau kala ngaho tau yeululwa omaufiku hano oho piti mo to i peni?” yina tu pula. ”Ohandi piti mo handi ka xuxwa” Rachel ta yamukula ina nuukeka. ”Oh, kaanave, oho xuxu lungapi hano? Ee, ngee oho piti mo nee toka xuxwa, oho kala nee to ngungutula shike omaufiku?” yina ta pula natango.

”Vakwetu meme oo, kaimba oho udu eshi handi yadauka shaashi omafimbo amwe ohandi tu eendjodi di tilifa” Rachel ta yelithile ina.

”Kaanaave ame ino lombwela nge momesho... tya ashike ou na omumati shapo” yina ta tsikile natango. Rachel okwiipatana okanaku: ”Nghina omumati ame....”

Yina ya Rachel okwa tokola opo a konge po ondunge yokukwata omumati gwa Rachel opo ngaa a kodhilile okamona, oshoka okwa tila ka ninge ela, e ta ka etha osikola yo ya ka se oluhepo monakuyiwa.

Esiku limwe ethimbo lyaantu ya mana okulya uulalelo, yina yaRachel okwa ithana Rachel e ye mondunda ye opo ya popye. Rachel sho e ya mondunda ya yina, yina okwe mu patele mo e te mulombwele kutya: ”Iyaa, omo to nangala nena omo, ame ohandi ka nangala monduda yoye, onda hala ndi kwashilipaleke nge ou na omumati shili ile ahowe. Ou li po we lihonga oumbudi.”

Omupya munene, Rachel okwa adhika a popya nomumati gwe esiku ndjoka opo e ye ya lye okashona kawo. Ethimbo ndjono oongodhi dhopeke inadhi ya natango momoode, kali ena omukalo nkene ta vulu okukunkilila omumati gwe kutya ine ya we, oshoka yina ‘Ndiba okwe mu tula omwai’.

Yina okwa yi ihe a ka lale mokangulu ka Rachel opo ngaa a kwate omumati gwa Rachel (red-handed) opo e mu longe oshilongwa. Mokati kuusiku mwiyaka, ye Kaboy, omumati gwa Rachel, okwa ulukako nokuli uukilila owala mondunda yaRachel, ngaashi shito.

Pondunda ka pwali pwa pata, Kaboyi okwa piti e ta yi meni. Okwiihula iikutu e ta lala, ta tameke okuthethenga nokupampadhala ‘omuholike’ gwe (nani omuntu oyina ya Rachel). Okwali ngaa okumukwataakwata ihe ‘Rachel’ ita penduka.



”Hei Lakela, aame mani penduka.....penduka mukwetu tu ninge ame onda hala okuya....” Kaboyi osho a kala nokupendula ‘Rachel’ ngaaka ihe, omuntu okuli owala mokati koomposi. ”Hano nge ito penduka ame ohandi tameke okuninga ndi ye wani manga eluwa inali tenda, pamwe nyoko ota ninge a penduke, noukodi waye u lulila...” Kaboyi ta kondjo nayinamweno. NENA NA TU HULILE MPAKA…Ngula ota tu tsikile ko ishewe tu uve kutya oshike sha ningwa po…..
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
0Byte

Number Posts: 791
Last Post: 15.12.2009, 12:50

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 12:00
HAHAAAA!!!!!!!! Mukwetu Shindenge ngame omahuli gandje opo ga adhikwa taga andhekwa niiyando kuDoctor Tiara, molwa iileva yoye tuu mbyo, nena ongoye ishewe nguka to suulula ndje. Hano ku na ohenda mentu ngweye? Mpano owa dhipaga ndje nee, Lol Kaboi nayinamweno yakwetu. Ngiika esiku ndjoka okwa li omilema ndhi haku tiwa odha kwatitha meme-mweno moombwetelo. MMMHHHH what happen next vakwetu Ngiika Nankali kohi Nangombe kombandha. Please, i can not wait, Come on!
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
nigga

Number Posts: 75
Last Post: 30.11.2010, 13:46

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 12:23
pls pls pls pls..............................................................
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Black Revolutionary--(MMB)

Number Posts: 1620
Last Post: 06.02.2012, 06:29

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 12:32
Oh this is a nice story, restoring our skillz in the venacular, the last time i read this kind of interesting stuffs were in grade 12 in 2006, hope Namibian parents will give their daughters and sons some freedom, no matter how possessive (aakodhi) parents can be the kids will always find ways to sleep around, sex is part of nature and difficult to control
so Nam parents gonna learn to accept the reality, everybody need sex especially from age 18 upward
[Post edited by: Minding My Business on 09/2/09 12:35 PM]
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Dai

Number Posts: 821
Last Post: 16.12.2011, 10:53

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 13:41
Shindenge, owa kala ko nee mkwetu, we are stilll waiting for the 2nd part.....very interesting story
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Tiara

Number Posts: 528
Last Post: 03.11.2009, 13:07

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 13:56
Hey Shindenge! Ote galangata nayi huka kuume....hahaaaaaaaa..oh! hahaaaaaaa!!! tsikila ko wani.....
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Kachokwe

Number Posts: 280
Last Post: 10.02.2012, 09:28

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 15:26
I cann't wait to read/hear what happen next, please Shindenge come on!
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
santana

Number Posts: 54
Last Post: 12.11.2011, 00:39

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 15:33
Back wit part 2 since Shindenge is taking long (jst ma imagination on wat happen after),,,

Kaboyi akala nokukwatakwata yinamwenyo ngaaka, nokwatameke nokuli takuthamo shilenga emu ukitha muyinamweno ye tapenuna uukatha wa yina mweno, mentu okushi owala anuwa o Rachel mkwetu akotha owala, okwaala nee aniwa aninge ngaa nonando akotha yetakapenduthwa ngaa nee ku shilenga.... Kaboyi okwatameke nokuli ta hupita yinamweno komangudji ye aleka shilenga.... yemwene kaboy okwali ayembekwa shoshili, kashishi omashendjo kaa, ye ihakwatakwa oshoka ngee tashiya kendaaniso lyo Ndombolo okwali ndhingi, imagina nee... Aantu ohaa zala owala uukatha ndishi sho taa lala ethimbo ndjoka....

Mhmmm, ihuna yeya nee, kaboyi okwa wudha pondje mpwiinyenga nokwali eshi oyinamweno apenduka nani okambwa owala, yenee yinamweno huno otadhenga omilungu dhe ku kaboyi osheendelela aniwa opo yinamwenyo ngele oye apenduka ye aadhe ngaa olyalyaako, mwatiko Kaboyi apenuna yinamwenye ye shilenga shokamati kokashendjeluto okwapita osheendelela sho, okwali ayambekwa lela ndele nayinamweno sho shilenga apiti okwatimo ngaa "aaaaaaa", yenee yinamweno nguno naye okweyiyethele ngaa nduno... nkene ayile momukunda moka ineyi latha oshoka okwali omwiinigayithi, huno Kaboy okwamwenapo manga oshoka okwali eshi oyinamweno akolongondja pondje, yeyinamweno naye okwamwena owala shaashi aniwa ngeno nande shali Rachel okwamwena ashike atila emuuve,,,,,,,, sho pondje pwamwena ko Okamati kokashendje lutu, oshimentu shishikwamandjila, shina odhino yekezimo lyawo oshuumbuko nokuli lwaali shotashipwilikine manga,,,,, Mmhhhh, iihuna ithike peni akwetu,,,

O' I hav to rush now, Shindenge is back on his seat,,,, be back soon...
[Post edited by: santana on 09/2/09 4:08 PM]
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Honesty

Number Posts: 50
Last Post: 26.04.2011, 11:19

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 15:39
Oh yakwetu Shindenge! Owaya peni hano? Omakutsi yange otaanyu nayi nayi yahala okuuva. Mmh, ndele yina ya Rachel ina etwa mo ngaa.........................
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Black Revolutionary--(MMB)

Number Posts: 1620
Last Post: 06.02.2012, 06:29

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 15:50
Kaboyi akindja nee, Uuleke wa Lake waliwapo Kuuyina, Shindenge maan o stoli ndjino maan
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Ou-tash

Number Posts: 128
Last Post: 03.10.2011, 09:22

[ View User's Posts ]
Monday, 09. February 2009 at 23:36
Shilombolwa Kaboyi takangodola ngoo mboli ooo, ile itye ngoo agondola nale, Shindenge ove totuli ngoo oshipungo nena ali omanga inotusitha kenota nokondjala, haayi eyi ikwetiwe kuyinamueno vati wa Kaboyi nee, oyo goo eyi yokukala metengelelo ethimbo nuule. Shantana ngele shindenge akalele owulivakelako ano koshipundi ove wukulakuleko ngoo natango!
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
EPANGELO

Number Posts: 441
Last Post: 04.11.2011, 13:34

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 08:04
Monghulupela vakwetu uh yo, Okaboy okanotelwa mbela nde noshipa osho ngo inakanongela!
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Nevab

Number Posts: 131
Last Post: 12.11.2011, 12:08

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 09:34
Oh vakwetu ixuna.... u guyz make me laugh oshili.... Hano ina ya Rakkela okwa dimbwa vali eshi aendela monduda yo mona?

Shidenga plz man twikila mukwetu...
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Nevab

Number Posts: 131
Last Post: 12.11.2011, 12:08

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 09:58
Honesty Oh whr r u hidding ano honey wandje.... Have been luking 4 u so long... js ms u my sweetie..
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
0Byte

Number Posts: 791
Last Post: 15.12.2009, 12:50

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 11:34
Ame Shindenge osho ngoo kaandi ku holele nawa omafimbo amwe osho, shaashi oho ponifa ovanhu omate nai. Nena owa ya nee peni vali? Vakwetu ou wa mono po Shindenge opo mu lombwela kutya "oku otu li ko tu na eexwexwe momatwi"
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Honesty

Number Posts: 50
Last Post: 26.04.2011, 11:19

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 12:28
Oh Nevab! I m not hinding waaa. By the way how cn you miss your honey oshili? You seems not serious eeee.........

Yakwetu Shindenge okwaya peni hano? Oh, nge mwemu mona ko hono tell him to come continue with Rachel and Kaboy's story. I m so curious.............
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Adezi

Number Posts: 92
Last Post: 24.08.2011, 04:30

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 12:43
Oho, aaye Shindenge owa kalako unene.Totuponifa ashike omate. Ngaashi ame itandi dulu ashike nande ondi na ashike etimaumbwile........ile ohaku tiwa shike hano?????
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Tiara

Number Posts: 528
Last Post: 03.11.2009, 13:07

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 14:42
Neee mani Shindenge!! hano oho ningi yakweni ngiini ngaano?? nkene ngaa wa yile mentu ngwee ..shili owa tile owu li ko owala to ningi "Kiyaa" hono?!! Nenge mbono yuumeho inaawu pokolwa nawa oyo taye ku piyaganeke?...LOL
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
ndeu (guest)

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 16:15
Shindenge otashi vulika ayeleke oonkondo dhe nenyakwa lyokarate lyomoKiina limwe ndele tali mupe shi sha lala mombiga. Olye eshiwo ngele keli mOnaasalesa yomoKiina. Ashike ngele hasho kuume Shindenge, naku ye oshigongoti ngoye totsikile ko nee.
Tiara, opo wuli nkelo? OByte ota ziko koSri Lanka eshi kuyanda ooholo nee...lol, ina pumbwa ku tila nande oshoka ondimu na momagalikano.
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Tiara

Number Posts: 528
Last Post: 03.11.2009, 13:07

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 17:08
Eeee opo ndi li kuume Ndeu...ondi inekela nangoye oto shi enditha nawa nee..?? eish mukwetu ino popya ko hoka ko Sri Lanka...ngame uusiku nomutenya ohe kala owala ndi ikwata poompanda nomagalikano, opo hewa osheeli shandje 0Byte shiyande ngaa ooholo dho Tamil rebels ndho...
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
teamtalk

Number Posts: 97
Last Post: 19.01.2010, 15:50

[ View User's Posts ]
Tuesday, 10. February 2009 at 17:13

Bro Shindenge

Tsikila ko mukwetu please, Do you know that ucan be a novelist?
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Shindenge

Number Posts: 261
Last Post: 08.11.2011, 14:12

[ View User's Posts ]
Wednesday, 11. February 2009 at 10:14
Eewa natu tsikileni nehokololo lyetu. Nandi gandje manga ombili sho nde mu ninitha oondombe dhomayeye. Iimentu mbi yomeho ga zinda oya thanga ndje koonyala ohela sho kwali ta tu idheula, nokakwa li te vulu okushanga.... I have to go for massage and it is when I became better….

Santana okwa li ngaa e mu yakela ko.... ehokololo oku li shii nawa. OK, natu yeni nadho, oshoka 0Byte okwa manena ndje mo unene omeho, mbela okushii otandi shi ti ko ku Tiarra sho a ninga ko Sri Lanka...

Kaboyi ina kwataakwata, okwa penuna iikatha ya ‘Rachel’ ete mu i mekolo.... ta umbu ko ngaa yimwe...mbali.... ndatu, ando dhi ninge ne (4) aaye, yinamweno naye moomposi ongohela a li mo....omwa ti ihai liwa mukweni a londa...?

Sho ina yaRachel a penduka, okwa dhimbulula kutya momagulu ge omwa pama, mu na omuntu tii kuthile ina pewa. Okwa kwatele po omufuthi e te mu pula kutya: ”Haiti, olye hano ou?”

Kaboyi: (ta kakama sho a dhimbulula kutya nani omuntu oyina yaRachel) ”Aaye, ombili meme, aame kaboyi kokooMateusha...oh, hamba oove ...? Ombili meme okwali ndi shii oLakela...”
Yina ya Rachel: ”Kaanaave kaMateusha, ino lunduka tuu, nghee u li iho tila ovakulunhu? Nghee ngaho ndi fike apa aame to i pokati komaulu? Ino lelwa tuu ondeebula? I kufa mo nokuli”

Kabyoi manga a li ta kambadhala a ze mo momagulu ga inamweno, yinamweno okwa dhimbulula kutya ‘mboli okwa fa te linipi omaadi keenyala’ oshoka okwa mona kutya Kaboyi ogumwe yomaamati mba ya yambekwa ngele tashi ya ‘koitenda ei hai hambula oufiku’ okwe mu ganda ta ti: ”Haiti, hano kaanve owa tekulwa ngaho? Oto pweya ashike wa fa to pweya mokaana kakweni, omunhu oho ende ngaho kashona, owa endelela to yi peni hano?”

Kaboyi ando ngaa a pweye mo omukwaita gwe kashona nakashona, ta ende ngaa andola oshikuluntu, natango yina yaRachel okwe mu ganda: ”Aye, aye, aye...hano oto ningi ngahelipi ngaho? i shuna mo nokuli...Ame inandi tya inda, ninga ngaho nee fiyo oto mane mumati wange, ndele ino shi hetekela vali....”

Kaboyi, mumwe nuutile nuumbanda, okwa tsikile okuundula omatemba gayinamweno sigo yinamweno naye tiikutha ngaa enota ndjoka lya kala tali mu tyakaleke omasiku agehe ngoka.

Omukulupe oshitenda okwali eshipanda shili, oshoka kashali ethitikamatsi, sho kasha li oshishona, oshali lela ‘ondjelekandha’. Okwa tokola opo a konge po ondunge opo a mone ishewe ompito yimwe yokulala naKaboy. Okwa dhenge ihe Kaboyi mombwa, e te mu lombwele kutya: ”Eshi twa ninga ino shi lombwela nande Lakela, ei oyo nee onduda yange paife, Lakela paife oha nangala monduda yange. Mongula inda ashike wa ukilila monduda ei kwali yange, omo to hange Lakela. Nge to uya fikila ashike to ningi, nande ino mu pendula…..”

Kaboyi sho kwa shi, okwa penduka e ta yi keembo nonkumwe onene oshoka nkene a valelwe a lale nomukiintu e thike mpoka, ashike okwa za po ngaa a pandula oshoka osho sha li oshikando shotango ta li iipyu niitalala, po opo ihe a za e shii kutya nani omilalo oshike, nani Lakela iinima ohe yi dhanene owala.

Yina yaRachel sho a penduka, okwali a nyanyukwa noonkondo oshoka okwa mono o ‘attention’ e yi ihulu nale muuyuni waKaputu. Okwa kala ihe te ipopile ta ti:

”Mhhhhh, okaana kaMateusha okanyakwa ngahelipi ke.... Lakela vakwetu ke li tuu melao winya...ondi wete ngaho e li po ta lunduka mboli osheshi te tu lile ounyuni... Oshitenda shinya oshi shi ngaho okuefelwa mukweni mbela....? Aaye ondi na okuninga po sha...omundilo wongula oponhelele yoye to yokele.”

Omukulupe okwa tokola opo a lombwele omwana momeho. Okwe mu lombwele ihe ta ti:”Ombili shiveli, mboli ohandi ku lundile ashike, paife onda itavela kutya oshoshili mboli ku na sha omumati. Nena oto ka nangala ngaho nee monduda yoye. Ashike meumbo nena ito di mo nandenande.”

Rachel okwa li a nyanyukwa sho yina ina mona po sha. Oh shit, look at the time, it is 17:00 already. Sorry guys I have to go for training….I will continue tomorrow with the last part of our story…STAY TUNED
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Ou-tash

Number Posts: 128
Last Post: 03.10.2011, 09:22

[ View User's Posts ]
Wednesday, 11. February 2009 at 10:28
Heheeeeeee, hohooooooo, hahahaaaaaaaa, Mwatiko kaboyi a gondola ngo..... Aaye, vati omulilo gwongula omekolo.... aaaye! Inokalako nee ali mukwetu....
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
Prettie

Number Posts: 24
Last Post: 17.09.2009, 09:49

[ View User's Posts ]
Wednesday, 11. February 2009 at 10:52
mentu ngweye iinima mboka toningi kayi shi iiwanawa. ninga homana omahokololo goye ethimbo limwe, nanditye nee ondili po ku sa, paife andi kala owala ta ndi ipula ehokololo lya shindenge sho nee ina shi pumbiwa to si to iipula niinima yokevi oto kapya moheli. next time m'kwetu mana nee opo ngele atuka vululukwa tuye nombili....hahaha ha!!!!!!!!! i cant wait for 2morw





ndele yina ya Laakela kashiivule, but dont blame her...........iinima ohayi pumbu
Re: Uuteku ngaa nenge opena elalakano limwe?
0Byte

Number Posts: 791
Last Post: 15.12.2009, 12:50

[ View User's Posts ]
Wednesday, 11. February 2009 at 10:56
Waketu! Hano omunhu olye ou? Heeno odho shili menhu ove Shindenge ou na uunongo wa pota, uunongo woye otau twala omnhu shambadaulu. Ota shi ulike kutya ove poikangwa apa wa lya olusha ooPaavo Hasheela, ooMbenzi nooAngula Ndjembo vo inava lyatapo nghee va dalelwe. Ashike mukwetu shapo shanga Okanamabo, oongulu-manbo dhi twe kofwanya yoo oimhutu tai ilongeleko.

Onde ku lombwelele ngoo kutya onda ningile nomahuli ma tya oivando, ashike nena momufitu waNaimbungu ina mu diwa moo omakwanekamba otaa kolomona. Apa onda dengelwa po ongodi....ya za konashaalesha ya za ko (land of ideas) Aniwa Nkelo yandje Dr Tiara okwa vende omunaudu meyulu, ye mwene hasho kwa li ngeno a dilaadila....ashike osheshi ashike a kwatwa koindjola yoovenevene molwa ehokololo loye olo. Oshili Shindenge Nkelo yandje kai mangwa nande oshili, ohai ku tendele enghete!

Aaaye mani.....this is so hilarious lol! OSHIWAMBO ELAKA LIWA!
Continue to next page: >>>

Post Views: 10330 Previous Post Next Post threaded

Displaying posts 1 - 25 of 59 total posts: 1 - 2 - 3 - >>>

© 2012 web.com.na
About | Press | Contact & Support | Terms & Conditions| Privacy | Imprint
Designed for Namibia